Saturday, September 5, 2009

If

If: you are standing in a really, really long line at the checkout of a store,

And: you are going to be paying by check, you might want to fill out the pertinent information on said check before it's your turn to pay, instead of running your yap to the woman in front of you,

Because: whipping out your checkbook AFTER the cashier has given you your total and taking a whole 5 minutes (I timed you) to fill out the date, the amount, signing it, and balance your register is really, really going to piss the 9 people in line behind you right off. There will be much sighing, tsking and even a couple of 'really?!?" and 'lady, are you serious???' comments and you will get upset at 'people being so mean'.

If: you are driving on Scott AFB on the weekend,

And: you are not familiar with the fact that the stop lights along Air Mobility Drive are turned into yellow flashers for Air Mobility traffic and red flashers for cross traffic on weekends and holidays, you might want to read your 'rules of the road' or 'highway code' ,

Because: coming to a complete stop at a yellow flashing light will cause the driver in the Ford pickup behind you (who knows you don't stop at yellow flashers, only red ones) to have to slam on his brakes, which in turn will cause him to hydroplane and come awfully close to sliding into the side of my little car, causing me to have to do some pretty nifty driving to avoid getting hit and there will be much flipping of the bird and yells of 'moron!' and 'what are you, a fucking idiot?!' sent in your direction.

I'm staying home the rest of the day. It's dangerous out there.

4 comments:

Raindog said...

People still use checks? Really? To buy things in stores? I don't know of many store that still take personal checks.

Wow.... I bet they have an 8 track in their car..... :)

Leyanis.Redondo said...

This sounds like my husband...lol. He get's his colors confused a lot..lol.

Epijunky said...

Wait... what are these checks you speak of?

Ninjamedic said...

Epi: From what I've been told, they are pieces of paper that you substitute for money.

RD: I wondered the same thing....I was surprised that she had a cell phone (and it wasn't a big ol' brick looking thing, either).

Leyanis: My Hubs doesn't get his colors confused, he just doesn't pay attention. Drives me crazy.