Thursday, February 25, 2010

I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or be pissed.

*Hat-tip to the DrugMonkey for the photo*
I am sometimes ashamed to be human.
I don't know if I'm more ashamed to be of the same species as the people who are touting this, or the people who are fucking stupid enough to buy it.
This is charlatanism at it's finest; the modern-day equivalent of a snake-oil salesman selling panaceas to cure ALL ills. The people who buy this stuff...well, i'm keeping my opinions about them to myself. I'll just say that they're the same people who think that the internet is a series of tubes invented by Al Gore, that ghosts exist and that alchemy really is possible.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

To: NM’s body

To: Head  From: NinjaMedic CC: Sinuses; Nose; Throat; Temperature; Guts
Re: Inconsistency

Make up your bloody minds, will you?  Either hurt, or don't hurt.  Run, or don't run.  Be hot, or be cold.  All this hurt/run/hot one minute and don't hurt/stuffy/cold the next is getting to be a real drag and I've just about had enough of it (and you).

Oh, and you guts needn't think that you're off the hook just because I haven't mentoned you yet, because you're not: either reject food or accept it, and do it ONE END AT A TIME.   Your current work ethic of BOTH ENDS AT THE SAME TIME is unacceptable.  

Get your act together, all of you.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.



Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Good News: the gate guard actually spoke to me when I handed him my ID card today!

The Bad News: he said " 'sup ". Nothing else, just a mumbled " 'sup " before he did the split-second-flip of my ID and handed it back to me.


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Dear Gate Guards.

Dear Airmen on gate guard duty at Scott,

I'm not sure whether this has been brought to your attention yet, but your appearance and demeanor MATTER. You are repesenting not only your career field, but also your branch of service when you work the gate; you are the first thing visitors to this base see. Ever hear the saying 'first impressions count'? Yeah. Apply that to yourselves. It's not a good idea to wear unathorized clothing on the gate, and it's also not a good idea to wear a uniform that looks like you just rolled out of bed.

It's also a GREAT idea to verbally ackowledge that you've seen a person's ID and it's okay for them to proceed. Grunting is not acceptable, and neither is total silence. I never know whether it's ok for me to go through when that happens, and that's why I ask you. I'm not doing it to be a bitch, I'm asking because I've seen the damage all the security measures in place at the gate can do to a vehicle, and I really like my car the way it is. I'm not asking for an entire conversation, but 'thank you' or 'have a nice day' would be nice.

The gate is not the place to conduct personal conversations when traffic is backed up for half a mile. Take today, for instance: there was a long line of vehicles waiting to come on via the Belleville gate, and whilst there were two of you standing there, only one was checking IDs and waving traffic. The other one of you was standing there, and you were both running your yaps. That's a bad image to present, fellas. Both of you should have been taking care of business; your conversation could have waited until the line wasn't so long and traffic wasn't so heavy. It's ok to chit-chat, but not at the expense of the people coming on base.

You might want to take the security aspect of your job a little more seriously, too. Some of you take my ID and don't even LOOK at it, you just hand it right back to me. Others take it, flip it in a split second and then hand it back. I know that you can't possibly have seen the pertinent information on it in that short amount of time. How do you know that it's me, that it's my ID card if you don't look a the photo? You may think that I'm being pedantic and that it's none of my business how you operate on the gate, but I disagree. It's very much my business: security is EVERYONE'S business. I LIVE here; my family relies on you for our security.

I also think that how you look is my business. I'm proud to be an Air Force wife; I'm proud of my husband and his colleagues and the things they do for this country. When you look like a big bag of shite, it reflects on him, and by proxy, on me.

Today it was just me coming through the gate and noticing these things. Next time you may not be so lucky - it might be a General who notices and who takes action, or worse still, it could be a terrorist. The consquences from the former can be unpleasant, but the consquences from the latter...well, it doesn't bear thinking about.

So c'mon, guys. Get your act together before something catastrophic happens.


A Proud Air Force Wife.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Overheard in the classroom…


Student, to Professor: "where is your husband from?"

Professor: "He's from Spain"

Student: "Oh, so he's Eye-talian, then!"

Professor (glancing at me): *blink*


Same student, the next day: "I'm sitting here wearing this ol' thin tee shirt and I'm sweating, and you're there wearing a sweater and a vest, sayin' you're cold! I don't get it….I mean, what gives?"

*The student in question is very large. VERY large. As in 'need the FD for a lift assist' large. The professor is maybe 125 lbs.*

I wanted to say "what gives is that body fat insulates – much like blubber on whales. You clearly have a LOT of body fat. The Professor clearly does NOT" . . . but I didn't. I just made a mental note to blog what was said. I have a feeling that as long as that student is in the class, I'll have a nearly limitless source of blog fodder.