Thursday, July 17, 2008

They're coming off.

Today my doctor gave me a referral to see a plastic surgeon.

About a breast reduction.

For those of you who don't know, I'm about 5'3", weight right at 160 (I weigh heavy), wear a size 10 pants and jeans and sport a pair of 38DDD's.

I had thought I wore a 36DD, but when trying on bras last week I discovered that I was, in fact, a 38DDD. I had wanted to get a pretty, dainty, delicate bra, but all they had in my size were these huge granny-bras with 5 hooks up the back. I'm ashamed to say it, but I burst into tears in the store.

It's not just the ugly bras that make me cry, it's the pain and the size and the inconvienience of them. My upper back is sore in the mornings and downright painful by the end of the day, I have grooves in my shoulders where the bra straps dig in, I can't run because it hurts, I can't swim because they act like flotation devices, I can't lift properly or function as well as I'd like at work because they get in the way.....I have a rash in the crease under them, I can't sleep on my belly, finding swimwear and bikinis that fit is a nightmare, and I end up having to wear shirts that are XL rather than M because of the size of my tits.

The only time in my adult life that I've been below a D cup is when I weighed 100lbs, and even then I was a large C.

My posture is getting incresingly poor, and I worry about osteoporosis and kyphosis as I age if I don't do something about them soon.

So, in an age where women are getting BIGGER breasts, I'm doing the opposite and getting smaller ones.

That about sums up my personality, actually. Whatever everyone else is doing, I do the opposite. However, it's usually just because I can....this time it's because I HAVE to.

Goodbye, old friends. It's been fun having you and you've certainly garnered me a lot of attention over the years. However, it's time for you to're getting to be more of a burden than you're worth; a literal millstone hanging from my neck. I'm trading you in for smaller, perkier models that I can dress in pretty bras and bikinis and take to the pool and actually swim with without worrying whether you guys will make an unexpected and somewhat embarrassing appearance.

Au revior, mes amis. I won't miss you.

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