....yet you tied off your child's umbilical cord with a SHOESTRING, cut it with a pair of unsterilized kitchen scissors (no, honey, washing them with dish soap and really hot water is NOT the same as sterilization) and then, as your husband was getting ready to cut through the cord, you said "this doesn't hurt the baby, does it?"
Don't even get me started on the fact that you consider sticking your arm into the BP machine at Wal-Mart and listening to your child's heart tones with an ancient fetoscope (that you probably bought used on eBay) 'prenatal care'.
This girl had NO prenatal care. NONE. She had a 'maternal specialist' out to her house to teach her how to revive a non-breathing infant:
Irresponsible Eejit: "So how long can the baby go without oxygen before it......."
IE: "Yeah. Like, 20 minutes?"
MS: "No, you don't HAVE 20 minutes"
IE: "'cause it takes EMS like 5 minutes to get here..."
As it turned out, she delivered at home, then ended up having to go to the hospital because the placenta didn't separate in what she thought was a reasonable amount of time (hours, btw. HOURS). When there, she refused an IV, asking the nurse "will I need one for a D&C?", and then called the doctor "dismissive" when he came and sat at the end of her bed and asked her what she wanted him to do for her; what she'd LET him do. She said "what do you think is best?". Hehe. I'm not even going to go there.
I've had kids. I'm all in favor of women rejecting interventions, of having what's commonly referred to as 'natural' childbirth. However, I'm also in favor of LIVE babies and LIVE mamas. Please, all you ladies who are thinking about 'freebirthing': you are NOT the only person in this equation, you have another life to think about. Please take that into consideration when you're deciding where and how to deliver your child - please, consider having a trained medical professional on standby. They don't even have to be in the room if you don't want, just in the vicinity, able and ready to help you or your child should things go awry. Please bear in mind that you can bleed, as one British OB/GYN specialist said "torrentially" in the moments after birth and may not be able to call for help or care for your child.
Make an informed decision, ladies, and if you still insist on being incredibly selfish and thinking only about what YOU want, at least know your stuff and be as prepared as you can with the appropriate knowledge and adequate equipment.
Not a shoestring and a pair of feckin' kitchen scissors.