Thursday, March 26, 2009

Heck of a week.

It's been a heck of a week. First, I got assaulted by a patient - sexually assaulted. They knew exactly what they were doing and now nobody is allowed to deal with them one-on-one; we have to deal with this patient in pairs.

Next, I got slapped and scratched by a bedridden patient who didn't want their wet pads changed. Because of their condition, decubitus ulcers are a real danger so leaving them in a wet bed isn't an option. So, I had to fight them a little to change their bedding and in the process they slappedmy face and clawed my hands and arms. They apologized later -they aren't able to verbalize, but I did get a smile and a hug after it was all over.

I have bruises up my legs from being run into by wheelchairs. Some of my patients aren't the greatest drivers in the world...

I had to break up a fight between two LOL's. They're both pretty confused and one thought the other was in her apartment. Words were exhanged, then shouts, and by the time I got there to intervene they were circling each other and looking like they were ready to strike. I had to have one tag along with me whilst I went about my duties so I could make sure they didn't come to blows.

I saw the absolute biggest bowel movement I have ever seen. It was so big I had to weigh it: 8lbs 2oz and that's taking off the weight of the commode pan it was in. It was HUGE.


I lost count of all the hugs and smiles I got. It's those hugs and smiles that make me look forward to going to work every day, that make all the gropings and slaps and fights and complaining I hear well worth it. Knowing that I mave made a difference in someone's day, whilst it may sound trite when I write it here, is it's own reward.

They are my patients, and I am growing to love them.

8 comments:

MedicMatthew said...

How the hell does anyone produce an eight pound poop?!?

Ninjamedic said...

Matt: I asked myself the same question. The patient in question is..umm...large - like almost 300lbs large. I guess that when you're that big and you eat a lot, gargantuan poops are not that unusual.

Fuck, if *I* took an 8lb crap I'd be in bed for days, trying to recover!

RD said...

I thought you weren't suppose to write about work??

Ninjamedic said...

RD: As long as I don't reveal names and/or locations and information that could lead to a patient being identified,I've been told it shouldn't be an issue.

RD said...

Great! I love your stories, but I want you to stay employed!

Evil Transport Lady said...

No Names etc is how you can do it.

I look up to you for caring about your patients, it takes a special person to do the work you do!

la-piernanegra said...

I think you get it. My co-workers think I'm nuts when I say that "I live to serve."

Man....an eight pound poop. you shoulda took a picture. Just imagine if he has diarrhea...it would be gallons!

Ninjamedic said...

RD: Yeah, I kinda like my job too!

ETL: Thank you!

LPN: I think you get it too...and you're one of only a handful of people I know who actually DO get it. I'd say that more than half the people I work with - whilst they do a good job and look after their patients adequately - don't really get it. To me, it's about more than making sure someone is clean and dry and dressed and fed, it's about actually giving a rat's ass about their welfare and well being. Actually, I feel a blog article coming on about that....