Hi, dis is Gracie. I never wroted on dis compooter before, but I seed mai sister Noodle do it all the time so I figgered I cud do it too.
Mai Momma sez I am a gud gurl, the bestest gurl in the whole wurld. I shore hope I am. I know that mai sister gets yelled at a whole lot cuz she is a nawty dawg. She tiddles on the rug and poops in the laundry room where she finks nobody will notice. My Big Guy wented in dere the other day and he trod rite in sum poop Noods had done in there. He wuz not happee. Noods had to go to her room and she didn't liek dat either.
One of Mai Kids gotten sum fings dey call 'Rats". I fink that dey gotted them for me to watch, cuz they shore are interesting. They hav long tails and I am qwite jellus of dem cuz I don't gots no tail. I just gots a little nub. I don't fink I was borned dat way, but I doan know whut happened to mai tail. Praps it got shutted in the door or sumfing. Dat happened to Mai Tall Girl, she shutted her fumb in da car door and Mai Momma had to take her to dis place called a mergency rum. When she camed back she had her fumb all bandaged up and Mai Momma sed she had 'a partial avulsion of the tip of her thumb and a distal fracture'. I doan reely know whut that meens, but I fink it really hurted cuz Tall Girl shore wuz maeking a lot of noise when it happened. She wuz quiet when she camed back and she acted reel funny, like Mai Momma or The Big Guy do when they have been drinking beers. Tehn she frewed up on da kitshun floor. It smelled reel interesting so me an Noods went over there to smell it. Noods wondered if it wud taste as good as it smelled, so she stucked her tung in it. Mai Momma yelled at her and sed 'geddaway from that, dog! That's gross!' and she putted me and Noods in our room so she cud kleen it up. The Tall Girl is better nao. I like that. I still doan know whut happened to mai tail.
Every morning I have a routine. I have to lick mai kids so I can see how their flavur is. I can tell if they are not feeling gud frum their flavur. They doan like it much and they say they just took a shower and doan want to smell liek dawg so I gots to stop it. I doan liek showers. Or baffs. Mai Momma and Tall Girl make me get baffs alldatime. Mai Momma sez 'Gracie, you smell dog-y. You need a baff' wich I doan unnderstand cuz I AM a dawg and I'm spposed to smell dawgy. Whut else am I spposed to smell like?
Mai peoples are coming downstairs, so I gots to get off her nao. It was reel nice talking to yew and Im gunna maek shore I come back and talk sum more.
Instant karma for being a coward
41 minutes ago