Time to reassess

I had another doctor's appointment on Wednesday, and saw the occupational therapist on Thursday.

My biceps tendon is really very thickened and inflammed, and certain motions cause it to roll right out of it's groove (which creates a sick snapping sound and really kinda hurts). I have an MRI scheduled in a couple of weeks to see just how bad the damage is, and I've been warned I might be looking at another surgery.

I also have supraspinatus tendinopathy because I've been compensating, so I'm having bi-weekly ionophoresis treatments with corticosteroids to treat that.

The OT asked me what I did for a living and then said I may want to consider another career choice.

I think she's right. Clearly, EMS isn't going to work for me long term. Not because I don't like it, not because I'm not good at it, and not because I'm not enthusiastic about it.....but the car accident and the resulting injuries are making it difficult for me to continue on this career path.

Right now, I'm banned from lifting anything with my left arm. I have some range of motion exercises to do so I won't end up with a frozen shoulder and I'm allowed to do some light resistance work, but I can't lift anything. The bicepitus tendon is already weakened and the fear is that lifting too much will cause a complete rupture.....which would mean another surgery for sure.

I'm going to have to quit my job this week. I don't want to, but I don't have much of a choice. I don't know if my arm is ever going to be up to my lifting people day in and day out, whether I have surgery or not.

I don't want to NOT be in medicine, so my idea about going into the PA program has become more important than ever.

I love my job, and being an EMT is a big part of my identity. Not being able to do that anymore is quite a blow and is going to take some time to get used to....