7 days

I know I know, I said I'd tell you how I got the name NinjaMedic next time, and here I am NOT telling you about that. Tomorrow, I promise. It's not very exciting, trust me.

I have broken my own personal record.

I have not taken a shower, shaved my legs or pits or....ahem, personal bits...in 7 days.

One whole week.

I don't give a fuck what ANYone says, bird baths do NOT do an adequate job. I feel gross and nasty and I swear to god I stink. I wash all over every day ('cept for my boobage and what's under the surgical bra, I'm not supposed to get that wet yet) and I have one of the 'lings or Urbaner help me wash my hair over the sink, but I still feel like I smell bad. I use deodorant, but I think that having hairy pits somehow negates the potency of the deodorant because it doesn't seem to be working as well as it usually does when my pits are nekkid. All that shite they taught us in nursing school was a LIE, yo. Sponge baths don't fucking work - not as well as a tub bath or a shower at least.

I've been kind of naughty, I've unhooked the bra a few times to rearrange the dressings underneath. They were driving me crazy, y'all. The second time I rearranged, I figured out why: apparently my skin does NOT care for the adhesive on the tape because it's blistered where the tape was and I have a bunch of wee little raw spots now. Not incredibly painful, just fucking irritating and annoying. The bra was only undone for a couple of minutes each time. I don't think that's going to make a HUGE difference, do you?

I'm getting the dressings removed and the incisions checked on Thursday. I'll be able to wear a regular sports bra after that. Thursday afternoon, as soon as I get home, I'm stripping off, getting in the shower and I'm staying in there until all the hot water has run out or I feel clean, whichever comes first.

I'm also going to make sure I have at least 2 razors in there. From looking at the state of my legs right now, I think I'm going to need both of them....