Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I saw a newborn baby today that was downright ugly, y'all.

Don't get me wrong, I adore babies. Any age, any gender or ethnicity; I really do like babies and rarely miss an opportunity to hold and coo and fuss over a wee little infant.

I know that most of them look like they've gone 10 rounds with Tyson when they're first born. It's a tight fit through the birth canal and their poor little faces are all smushed and swollen when they first come out. I still find most of them cute though, and I normally have something pleasant to say about them. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of infants I've seen that I've found..umm...unattractive - and I've seen a lot of babies over my almost 40 years.

However, this kid.....well, I just couldn't find anything nice to say about it. Instead I said "oh wow! It's hands are tiny!" - and they ARE tiny. They're about the only tiny thing about it; the rest of it is pretty big.

I feel kind of bad for not being able to fall head over heels over it, but...well, this is one unattractive kid, yo. Seriously.

Hopefully the next time I see it, it'll have grown into it's features some and will look better. I sure hope so.....


michael p. said...

You aren't the only one who has seen an ugly kid recently.

Like you, I love babies, but don't have any because I don't like them THAT much.

Anyway, the kid that lives across the street from us I have affectionately renamed "Possum Child" because it looks like his parents captured a possum, got it laser hair removal treatments and taught it to walk upright. Its mother looks just like John Kerry but with dark brown hair, and its father looks like Curly from the 3 Stooges.

Oh the humanity!

Ninja Medic said...

Possum Child.....BWAHAHAHAHAHAH! That's hilarious!!

The parents of the baby I'm talking about are not bad looking people....this baby is just FAT. It's not very long, but it weighed pretty heavy and has a wee little cranium but these big ol' cheeks, no neck and little slits for eyes. Poor wee thing.

I still feel bad for not thinking it's a beautiful infant.

RD said...



As the father of two premies,
health is the important thing.

It's a sad day when you cannot
hold your newborn child.

It's sadder when the neonatal nurse tells you cannot talk or being the same room as the infant as your voice and presence causes the child's heart to race in a dangerous manner..

Keep up the great posts,

Ninja Medic said...

Oh my gawd....I'm sorry you had to go through that. However, I'm very glad that you and your wife have a preemie success story, so to speak.

I was very lucky; all three of mine were born full term and were healthy. I can't imagine giving birth but not being able to hold and bond with your child afterwards....I just can't imagine.
It must be incredibly painful.