Tuesday, September 2, 2008

You called 911 for WHAT?

For no good reason other than I feel like it:

NOT a reason to call 911

Earache for 4 hours (they dropped cockroaches and other bugs from their personage in the back of the rig and the ER. I guess when you're 500lbs, bugs find good places to hide unoticed).

Headache for 2 months. Not worse that night, no nausea or vomiting or AMS. Significant Other followed right behind the ambulance in a CAR all the way to the hospital, and was highly pissed when pt was wheeled out to triage.

Hangnail. I shit you not. Not even a felon, just a plain ol' hangnail.

1st degree burn less than the size of a pimple as a result of not-quite cooled glue from a glue gun.

5 day old infant who hadn't pooped in 4 hours. No fever, no crying, no apparent distress. Again, parent who didn't accompany infant on transport followed in vehicle and was quite upset when they got turfed to triage.

"Want to kill myself" w/headache. Was happy, smiling, laughing and joking all the way in, was happy and smiley in the ER. Had a list of medications as long as my arm (literally). Also had a U/A that was hot for cannaboids and cocaine. Did I mention they were a bible-bearing witnessing evangelical christian who wouldn't go to the CT scanner without their bible in their hand? Nary a tear nor a strife in sight, and 'God is GOOD' was heard numerous times along the trip.

New onset (1 hour prior) toothache. No OTC pain medications tried, no Anbesol or Orajel or heat or ice.

Semen in eye. Hadn't tried to rinse it out with water or any eye drops.

Small streak of blood on toilet paper after wiping. Actually saved paper to show us.

Next time, GREAT reasons TO call 911!


Cheating Death said...

OOOH! When I wake up in the morning I'll give you more pathetic excuses for 911 calls....

Ninja Medic said...

Cool! Nice to 'see' you here....ya'll come on back now, y'heah!?