Hullo, people of teh intarwebz. Dis is Noods, and I haf camed to speak to yew again.
Not very many strange fings have happened since teh last teim I camed to speak wif yew. Mostly it haz bean pretty boaring. But sum gud stuff happened.
Wun reel gud fing wuz dat The Big Gug camed home. Mai Momma wuz reel reel happy when he camed home and she gaved him many kisses and hugs. He sed 'Ok, we have to stop. Things are happening and the kids are around' a lot, and then him and Mai Momma wented upstairs to their room and shutted teh door and I heered Mai Momma laffing a lot when they wuz in dere. I listened outsied teh door, and after a little while she qwit laffing and it sounded like she had hurted herself a little bit. I wuz gonna wait to see if she wuz ok, but den The Big Guy sounded liek he had hurted HISself too so I gotted skeered and started saying fings liek 'is you ok, Mai Momma? Does yew need you ambeelunce?' but The Big Guy said shuddup Noods and whas yew barking foar and I knewed they wuz alright and I wuzznd skeered no moar. After a bit they gotted into teh fing dey call a shower togevver, and when dey camed out of the room they bed wuz all messed up and it smelled reel interesting in dere. I doan know whut happened in there, but its been happening a LOT. Liek almost every day. I shore wud liek to know whut happens to maek mai momma and teh Big Guy laff and then get hurted all at teh same tiem like dat.
Me and mai sister Grace had to stay in our room ALL day one day becuz our peoples wented to sum plaice called Indian Banana for sumfing called Kwistmuss. I didnt liek staying in mai room, but me and Grace both liek dis Kwistmuss bizness. We gotted pwesunts wif shiny papers on dem, and there was ALL kinds of gud fud for mai peoples to eat...and cuz dey got to eated it, me and Grace got to eated sum too. I liek dis Kwistmuss. I wished it wuz Kwistmuss ALL da tiem. After Kwistmuss mai people wented to sum plaice called Noo Yurr. Noo Yurr means they stayed up reel late, gotted up reel laet teh next dai and it gaved mai momma a headake. Noo Yurr is not as much as Kwistmuss, I fink.
I am reel proud of Mai Momma, peoples. She has gone to dis plaice called teh jim a LOT and she doesnt drink soduhs as much as she used to. She even wented running outsied in teh cold! Me and mai sister Grace didnt want to go outsied that dai bucuz it was reel reel cold, but mai momma sed that she was gunna go run and she DID. Me and Grace looked out of teh winnder and we seed mai momma out there running. I wuz reel proud of her and so wuz Grace. Mai momma is also getting smaller. She sed her cloths wuz loose byt teh Big Guy sed to teh kidz that he didn't see it but then yesterdai he seed mai momma in her jeans and he sed 'Hey, you DID lose weight, those pants are pretty loose!' and that maded mai momma smile and maded her happy. I liek it when mai momma is happy. It maeks ME happy too.
Ooh, I almoast forgetted to tell yew dis: mai momma tooked the gate away frum teh stairs. She sed that I am a reel gud gurl now becuz I don't tiddle on teh rug or poop in teh howse no moar and that she can twust me. So now I get to go UP the stairs as well as down teh stairs, and dat meenz I can be in mai mommas room wif her and in mai kidz rooms too. One day last week mai momma layed down to take a nap and guess whut? I gotted to layed down on her bed WIF her!!! I was SO esscited! She layed down on her side and I founded a reel nice spot behind her nees and we both layed there and tooked a reel nice nap together. It maded me feel like a very big important dawg and mai momma sed it was reel naise to have her gud dawg wif her to keep her companny.
It has beaned a good tiem since I last speaked wif yew, teh interwebz. I fink dat it mite just stay dis wai, too....
Instant karma for being a coward
42 minutes ago