I haven't done this before and I may never do it again, but I simply HAVE to share this with y'all.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet Dennis:
Dennis is 23 and is looking for love on CraigsList. I'm going to post his ad so you can read for yourself what horrible luck Dennis has had with girls, how they leave him for douchebags who beat them and blah blah blah, but I wanted to let you know what Dennis' profession is first.
Dennis is a MMA cagefighter.
Yes, you read that right. Dennis here - Dennis with the double chin and distinct LACK of musculature, cauliflower ears and with the very straight nose - tells us that he, at 6'5" and 310lbs, is a heavyweight MMA cagefighter.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!! He's a CAGEFIGHTER!!!!!!!
Here, *hahahaha* read for yourselves. *Hahahahahaah*I can't stop laughing long enough to read it for you:
'Hi my name is Dennis I am 23 years old I am a mixed martial arts cagefighter, but I have a really big heart which may be my problem I have only had two girlfriends both took advantage of my good heartedness i gave them everything they wanted for example I proposed to my first girlfriend after 8 months she said yes then one month later left the ring on the front door step and said she didnt want to marry me because she wanted to go back to her old boyfriend (who beat her on a daily basis) because I was too nice. It took me five years to get over that, and now the most recent girlfriend dumped me because she stills has feelings for her ex who burnt down their house, killed her cat, and destroyed everything she owned because she left him for me, but she lied to me and told me she wasnt going back to him. Well as you can see I have bad luck with women. Im just looking for a normal girl who wont screw me over cause im tired of it. Im 6'5 310 lbs im a heavyweight fighter. I have brown hair and blue eyes my picutre is kind of old i look better than that lol. Well I know I wrote alot of my ex's but i was just dumped today and i dont want to wait 5 more years. hit me up if you want to know more '
Oh, my belly hurts from laughing!
Dennis, dear....the likelihood of you being a cagefighter is slim to none. I say that because if you WERE a fighter (or even just an MMA fan, like myself) you'd know that the heavyweight class you say you fight in has a weight limit of 265lbs. You far surpass that, dude. If you DID fight, then you'd know you're in the super heavyweight class.
By the way, Dennis, have you ever thought that your lack of luck with the ladies might be due to the fact that you embellish the truth/outright lie about stuff? I'm just sayin'.
Dennis is a cage fighter. HAHAHHAAHHA!!!!!!!