Yet more random what-the-fuckery from CriagsList:
*this is completely unedited, it's exactly as it was posted. I took out the email addy at the end, but that's all*
MICK !! PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS UNKINDLY FROM WHAT I SAY BECAUSE SO MANY FAKE PEOPLE OUT HERE TRYING TO DO BAD THINGS! ! BUT UNLESS YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF YOU! PLEASE DON'T EVEN EMAIL ME BECAUSE I WONT EVEN READ IT!!!!!!! I HAVE A KIND HEART BUT !! I WANT YOU TO KNOW I AM HONEST ON WHAT I SAY HERE!!!!!!!!! I AM A WHITE MALE 6'1 TALL AND 174LBS VERY FIT I HAVE STRONG ARMS TO HOLD YOU WITH,AND GOOD BODY FOR ONLY LOVERS LIKE US TONIGHT!! I DONOT DRINK OR SMOKE OR DO DRUGS I LOOK FOR PRETTY GIRL A WOMAN THAT WANTS SOME ONE TO HOLD HER IN HIS ARMS,A TRUE WHITE THIN BUILD FEMALE GIRL WITH THE SAME IN MINE FOR LOVE FOR LIFE ! A GIRL WITH A TRUE HEART AND SOUL A GIRL,A FRIEND,A WOMAN,A LOVER LIKE ME FOR HER ALL WAYS TO BE,FOR ALL WAYS ONLY YOU FOR ME FOREVER TO FALL IN LOVE LIKE STARS IN OUR EYES YOU FOR ME WILL BE IN A LOVELY OF SOFTLY BODIES IN SOME MOONLIGHT NIGHTS AS WE LAY IN LIFE AND WALKS IN THE RAIN WITH THE SUN SHINE FALLING DOWN ON US AS LIKE A RAINBOW OF COLORS IN THE SKIES FOR ALL WAYS OVER YOU AND ME THAT'S HOW WE WILL BE!! AND AS WE GO INTO LIFE FOREVER JUST YOU AND ME DOLL.***********/A/T/CHARTER.NET
My GAWD, there's so much stuff to work through on this post, I hardly know where to begin...
1) WHY ALL THE CAPS??
2) Why! So! Many! Exclamation! Points!
3) At first I thought that this was a letter to someone else. It starts with a name, as if the text is addressing someone else (but with an exclamation point, not a comma)....but then I waded through the rest of it and realized that it was, in fact, a personal ad.
4) 'You for me will be in a lovely of soft bodies in some moonlight nights'. If I didn't have the photos to prove me wrong, I'd have said that the author was Japanese, because that sentence is very Engrish-esque.
5) The photos. Oh, the photos...I think that he posted photos of his arms because he made mention of his 'strong arms' in the ad. At least, I hope that's why. The other photos....yeah. One looks like a scanned 80's WalMart portrait and the other....yeah, I'm not even going to go there. Not touching that one at all.
I would *love* to know what was going on in this guy's head when he posted this....