Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

I just HAD to share this with you. Of all the funky, effed-up, mangled writing I have seen on CraigsList, this one really takes the biscuit as...well, the oddest and most effed. It's not just the spelling and punctuation either, it's the subject matter:

realscumbag rontatooman - $160

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im writing about aman ron who lives at 172lampman ave he took my money and left my tatoo undone on my back right leg my son had a tatoo don saturday he had to go to the hospital because he got a bad staph infection from it the docter had to put him on antibotic pill and a antibotic cream all so this man is a real scumbag and areal asshole to take advantage of a woman who lives on a fixed income if some one could call me at xxx xxx xxxx an make arrangemts to com tomy houseand finish it forme iwould liketo get acall all i have is theout lineof the octoupuss head and the tresserchest and astar fish inthe front he was goingto make it look like it was a underwater ocean seen i have the dolphin onthe in side of the rightleg and on theouterside there is a seen with asunset water palmtrees and ocean water and two dolphins one jumping over the other one i just need the octoupuss finished and all the tentekils puton colored with megenta and pink colors and the treasurechestdon and the scubadiver putonn so maby someone will call me but i would not recomend no to go to 172lampman ave and have eney work don by ron

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Oh my, where to begin...

1) I don't understand why some words - words that are supposed to be separate - are joined together, but other words - words that are meant to be joined together - are separate. For example: 'all i have is theout lineof the octoupuss'. What the hell?!?!

2) 'Tentekils'? 'Octoupuss'? 'Tresserchest'? C'mon, really? This is a grown woman writing this; a woman who has a son who also got a tattoo - that means she's at least in her 30's. How can someone that age make it through life not knowing how to spell basic words like 'doctor' and 'done' and 'scene'?

3) If she's on a' fixed income', how the hell can she afford to get an elaborate tattoo done? I'm not on a fixed income, and I can't afford to get inked like that.

4) I'm not so sure that advertising for someone to come to your house and finish your tattoo is a good idea. In fact, I think that that's what got her into this mess in the first place. I notice that she doesn't give a shop name for her ink man (for instance, I got my oroborous tattoo done by Matt Thrash at Black Hills Tattoo). That leads me to believe that she went to someone who isn't licensed and doesn't work out of a shop; it was probably a guy who happens to have a tattoo gun and works out of his house - in other words, he's one step above a jailhouse artist.

5) Everyone has staph bacteria living on their skin, so the infection her son got might not have been from the tattoo needle. If he wasn't keeping the ink site clean, wasn't washing his hands before touching it, was using contaminated lotion/protectant - or wasn't using any protectant or lotion at all - then he could be at fault for the resulting infection. However, if there were a cluster of folks who all got staph infections after being tattooed by the same guy....well, then that would tell me that the guy's sterilization techniques are not adequate.

6) I don't know about her, but I only have two legs - one right leg and one left leg. Every time I read 'on my back right leg' I envision a woman with smaller legs sticking out the back of her primary legs, much like Edison's chair that he designed so he could lean back without tipping over.

7) Finally, I don't think this woman ever met a comma or a period she liked.



(credit to www.yousuckatcraigslist.com )