Friday, April 3, 2009

Parental smackdown pending

I'm about to put a parental smackdown on Numbah Two.

I found out that he's been fooling around with drugs and alcohol. I know he's smoked pot, but what I didn't know until yesterday is that he's been doing Ecstacy, cold medicine, cough syrup AND he's been drinking alcohol regularly too. The E really worries me - it ALL worries me, but especially E.

His father and I have talked to him time and again about the perils of drugs and alcohol, about how kids die from it and how a criminal record can fuck up your whole life. Clearly, our words have had no effect, so I've had to come up with other ways of sending him the message that drugs are NOT cool.

So, I called the county jail today. He's getting a tour of the jail and the detox facility on Monday. He doesn't know it yet, and he won't know about it until we walk into the jail. I'm going to try to get him a tour at the morgue, too. I want him to see that right now, he has unlimited doors open to him; he can be anything he wants to be and go anywhere he wants to go....but that if he continues down the road he's currently on, he WILL get caught (or hurt or worse) and doors will begin to close. I want him to see where posession of a controlled substance will get you; I want to show him the detox facility and tell him that the people in it all started the same way he did, and now they have NOTHING. Their substance abuse has robbed them of EVERYthing they ever had, including their dignity. If needs be, I want him to see the corpse of a person who died from a overdose or from alcoholism. I want to make him understand that he is NOT invincible, and that it CAN happen to him.

With the obvious escalation of his drug use, I am, for the first time, really frightened for him. I'm scared that he'll try meth. Or smack. Or crack. I'm scared he'll get addicted, or that he'll OD. I cannot think of a worse thing for a parent to have to do than ID their child in a morgue or hospital ER after they've killed themselves with drugs and I am starting to worry that that's what it will come to for us.

Some of you might think I'm overreacting. I, however, don't. I'm pulling the big guns out because I love him and I don't want him to waste/lose his life.

Please feel free to leave any advice you might have in the comment section. I'll take all the help I can get.


Anonymous said...

That is an absolutely fantastic idea. Much better than just yelling/shouting/punishing. I hope it works, please keep us posted?

I also hope I remember it for when/if I end up in the same position!

Anonymous said...

Oh, advice: NO EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL. You don't seem like the kind of person who would do it, but things like 'if you do x then I'll get upset and do y' just depress someone further...

Other than that no words of advice I'm afraid, really do think you are dealing with it in a very healthy way!

RD said...

You are an awesome parent.
I'd consider chaperoning him to school.
I'd start printing up stories about deaths from ODs.
Take him to ALANON for teens.

Anonymous said...

Cant think of what I would do, but I know that at least you are being a responsible parent and are trying your very best to change a potentially disastarous spiral downwards.

I dont think you are over-reacting at all. Fortunately my kids are only 8,9 and 2 so I should have a little time before my own paranoia comes in and I start worrying!

Good luck with it all, I really hope it does the trick.

Epijunky said...

I can't think of anything that I would do that would be any different from what you've done / are doing.

We *do* have a crackhead haven/homeless shelter that we frequently transport from, I'd love to show him around there.

You are an amazing parent... Let us know how it goes. And you have my number, call me sometime. *hugs*