Sure fire way to piss NM off.

I am PISSED, y'all. Really, truly pissed.

I went to see Numbah Two this afternoon. He said he'd seen the psychiatrist again today, but that no mention of his discharge or treatment plan was made. I had specifically asked that I be contacted regarding not only his pharmaceutical treatment, but his diagnosis, current treatment plan and follow up care. Apart from a call yesterday morning asking my permission to start medicating him with Celexa (minimal dose), I have heard NOTHING.

So, after visiting with NT, I stopped by the nurse's station. I asked why I hadn't been contacted. 'We don't know' was the response.

'What's his diagnosis?' I asked. I got the same answer.

'What do you mean, you 'don't know'? You must have some idea; you're medicating him, and you're not medicating his symptoms....ergo, you must be medicating the disorder. 'we don't know' doesn't cut it, guys'

'We don't know. Really we don't'

'Fine, let me see his chart. I'll read it for myself'

'Can't, it's against hospital policy.'

This is where I got pissed off.

'EXCUSE ME??!! I am his parent, his legal guardian and his personal representative in the eyes of both state and federal law. I don't give a toss about your hospital policy; state and federal LAW supercedes whatever this organization says. Please, don't make me get all legal about this. I don't want to have to do that, I just want to see my child's records...I want to be an informed participant in his care.'

'Can't.'

'Fine. You will have an official written request from me on your desk tomorrow - with the IL statutes that say you HAVE to give me his chart- and you will then legally have 30 days to give me access to his FULL medical chart from his stay here. I'm going to see those records, period. ALL of them.'

'Can't....wait, what??'

'You heard me. I'm legally entitled to see that chart. I didn't want to force the issue because I really thought that I'd be treated better than this. Clearly, I was wrong. I'll drop that letter off tomorrow, and I'm going to want someone's signature as a receipt.'

'Well, you can see the chart with the doctor or the therapist, they can guide you through it...'

'Nope, too late for that. I want that chart in full, and I'm legally entitled to it. I know more than enough to understand what's written in it, and I don't want your 'version' of what it means. You guys know what I do, I've brought patients to you before. I had hoped for a little professional courtesy, but seeing as you don't want to do that, we'll do it the legal way. I'll be back with that letter. Y'all have a nice day!'

'Wait....uhh...umm.....would you like the doc to call you?'

'I wanted that, yes, and I STILL want that. However, I'm also still going to get my eyes on my child's chart - ALL OF IT. See ya!'

So, the sure fire way to piss NM off? Tell her that she can't do something she knows she's legally entitled to do. Be alternatively obtuse and obstructive and generally disregard State and Federal laws in favor of your company policy - and do all of that with regard to the minor child she's the legal representative of.

That's how you do it.